Hello to all of you!!  Today is Monday and I am just a little tired today.  This medicine I take for my neuropathy kinds makes me tired but thats ok I won't be on it too long cause the Lord has healed it completely in His perfect timing!!  Now I have been sitting home and when I start to feel that my body is healing I start to feel a little depression sneaking in on me cause I'm not moving and  getting fresh air!!  So the devil will NOT get me with depression I can assure you of that so I have a plan for that not to happen!!  The Lord is good He will give you a plan just so the devil will not get a foothold!!  So I'm gonna do a "Things to Do List" everyday that way I have something to do whenever I feel a little depressed!!  I also want to start walking a little to get fresh air. May plan is to do 2 miles a day 1 mile in the morn and 1 mile in the afternoon.  I have a dog that also thinks thats a great idea!!!  I ask you pray for stamina for me. That I will begin to walk and build stamina as well as lose some weight!!  I will lose 10lbs as soon as these steroids leave my system and the swelling will go down!!  Thanks to all of you for your prayers and thoughts and food and all that you have done for me.  I can't thank you enough you have no idea what it has meant to me.  I am typing this with tears in my eyes cause I can never repay you but I pray for the Lord to repay you for your time prayers and faithfulness to me!!  If for one minute you don't think prayer works please come back to my blog and read each entry cause the Lord has answered EVERY prayer that I have asked you to pray for.  I am serious every prayer was answered!!!  I have never seen a miracle to such an extent!!!  I am such a believer in Jesus that I want everyone to just believe and trust and know that every word in the bible is for each of you and you can put your life on His promises!!!  Stand on His word He is very capable of delivering in His time but rest assured He will do it!!  I pray for all of you that do have a relationship with Jesus and those of you that don't know Him.  His name is Jesus and He died loving each and everyone you us with a passion that we can't comprehend!!  He loved the people that were killing Him He asked the Father to have mercy on them!!  Think about that....your son is on the cross dying and asked you to love the ones who are killing them and to have mercy on them!!!  Love you guys have a great week!!!

So it is Friday night 4 days after my last chemo treatment ever and I can't really feel my hands and my feet hurt and most of the bones in my body hurt and then I get an excrutiating pain in my right leg that almost knocks me right off my feet!!  Praise the Lord I am done!!  Everytime I think about my pains I just remind myself that I have no more chemo!!!  I'm still pretty swollen from the steroids but that will go away as well!!  I don't know how long it takes for the steroids to get out of your system but let me tell you steroids are something else!!!  They give you energy however the other side effects are not even worth it!!  So now if I could ask you all for a specific prayer I would really appreciate it.  I applied for disability in Oct. when I first got diagnosised and it is a mandatory 5 months wait.  Well the Lord was faithful to take care of us financially through these months.  I haven't heard anything from disability so would you please pray that my application will go through the first time and I will start getting disability in April.  I don't want or need disability for the rest of my life but however I do need it for a little while while I go heal from all the poison being pumped in my body and the reconstruction that I will be going through.  Thank you so much for your prayers you all have been wonderful to me and my family during this time of need!!!  Thanks and love you all!!

Yes it is the day after my LAST chemo treatment.  I was still wound up the morning on the steroids but I have made a fast crash.  Now I will be up & down for the next week or so then I will be on the road to full recovery and healing!!  Just can't believe that I am done with all this cancer crap!!  I'm thankful to be done and to be healed but it has moved soooo fast.  I had a reminder of a dream or a vision I had from the Lord and it was He and I running fast through the woods dodging branches and logs on the ground and He was holding my hand and we were running faster then I could ever dream of running on my own.  Now as I look back I can see that the branches and the logs that were in our way were the times I was sick and had to get extra fluids and meds but I can also tell you that it didn't slow us down!!!  The Lord went before me He lead me out of the woods and into health and fullness!!!  I have never felt so loved and full of joy in my life.  Not sure how that happens when you are 36 and diagnosised with breast cancer.....well sorry I do know how that happens His name is Jesus and He is my best friend!!  I have cried out to Him during this time of need and I can tell you He was here with me before I ever cried out His name!!  I just hope and pray that all of you will get to know Him in your own way.  Lean on Him let Him lead your way holding your hand and going before you!!  Love you all and May God Bless you abundantly!!

My very last ever chemotherapy appointment is tomorrow!!!  It's awesome how it is on the first day of March...new beginning as of March 1st!!!  The last appointment and the first day of total healing and recovery!!  This has been a long but fast journey for me but praise the Lord I made it with only a few scratches and bumps and bruises!!  The Lord is good he poured his grace and mercy on me each and everyday.  The days that I just didn't think I wanted to do this anymore He always found a way to change my mind and to remind me that healing was here and I would never ever ever have to do this again.  I heard a Charles Stanley sermon this morning and it was awesome.  He was talking about David and Goliath and he said the reason David was able to kill the giant was because he saw him dead when he volunteered to fight the giant.  David believed the Lord was always with him and wouldn't leave him in this time of need.  So  we need to see each giant that we face as being already defeated.  This is fully trusting in God....I had never heard that preached before and I was really blessed by that.  Thank you all for your commitment of praying for me!!  I love you all!!!  Thank you again and May the God of the universe bless you and battle your giants for you!!

Well its been a week and a day since my last treatment and I was actually able to run some errands and make dinner and manage to stay awake all day!!  Yesterday was my low day for my white blood count so I was in bed all day.  I was awake just long enough to take clothes out of dryer and put clothes in the dryer and a new load in the washer.  Folded that load and climbed back into bed and slept again!!!  My feet and fingers are really feeling the effects of the neuropathy that comes with this chemo.  My fee are numb but I can feel the pain....my fingertips are tingly and numb but I can feel the pain that rushes up my forarm.  I don't understand it but its the truth!!  Crazy!!!  Numb but feel that they hurt oxymoron?  Should start to feel a little better for the rest of the week and then on Monday I get my last treatment!!  Tommy is gonna go to my last treatment maybe we will throw a party at the cancer center since this is my last treatment!!  I don't know if that would be rude to the other patients but they could certainly participate in the fun!!!  For 14 weeks I have been pumped full of poison I have fault my way back to feeling seminormal all to be pumped full of more poison and to start the cycle all over again and to think that my last dose is almost her just make me soooo happy you have no idea!!!  When I first started all the chemo I wasn't sure if I was gonna make it through the first chemo and I really just wanted to give up and go to heaven cause it was awful.....then the 2 chemo came along and it is sooo much easier but I am so done!!!  I am ready to get on with the new season of my life.  I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for me!!  I hope and pray its something fun and exciting!!  Well it is 6:45 and I am ready for bed!! Can't hardly keep my eyes open...maybe a little nap til 8 then watch American Idol!!!  Love ya guys may the Lord pour his grace and mercy on each of you this week and keep you in his warm arm during this nasty rainy damp days!!

Yes Alisha I know what you mean.....we sent Jesus to the cross and then we think just because we are Christians that we shouldn't suffer...WOW what a big mistake...Jesus was inoccent He was perfect He never sinned He loved everyone He was honest He was more forgiving then we will ever be and yet we killed Him!!  A horrible death tortured Him beyond recognition and yet we still think we shouldn't have heartaches and pain!!!  Who do we think we are...we are sinners who need a savior so we can go to heaven so while we are on this earth we are gonna have pain and troubles BUT if we turn it all over to Jesus all is good!!  Thank you for sharing your heart it makes my day when people share their hearts with me!!!  You know Vickie told me one time and I have never forgotten it!!!  I wanted to do something and I wanted it to be done immediatly and I asked Vickie to be praying for me and all I heard her say was.....God knew what He wanted you to be doing 10,000 years ago!!!  That was so powerful to me and I think about that all the time!!!  He knows whats gonna happen and He's already gone before us!!!  Thats good news and I will never forget that one piece of advice that she gave me cause it has really reshaped my life!!!  Please keep sharing your heart it makes me think a little deeper!!  Love to all of you and your family!!!  May God bless you abundantly!!!

Ok I have a pretty colorful past and have tried many different drugs but I am here to tell you that I haven't been this high in years!!!  WOW I can't believe this!!  After my 2nd Taxol treatment I developed neuropathy and my doctor gave me Lyrica and when I first started taking it I felt the same way.  So yesterday I went to doctor and told her the medicine was working but was wearing off in between taking it so she uped my dosage and I'm just sitting here starring at my computer!!  Yes my body will get used to it and I won't feel like this for too long Praise the Lord!!!  I just want to sleep!!  I just keep telling myself one more treatment I can do ANYTHING one more time!!  With the Lord's help all things are possible!!  I just love Jesus with all my heart and soul and I can see everytime the Lord carried me and held me close.....He has held me and carried me everyday since I was diagnosised!!  He is a gracious and merciful Lord and you will need Him at some point and time in your life.....so I encourage you to get to know Him NOW and everyday He will meet your needs!!!  We don't always understand why we have to go through things but I always understand that He's in charge!!  I love you all and I pray you all know my best friend Jesus!! 

Well today is Wednesday and I am so feeling the effects of the chemo!!  Chemo is cumulative so with each treatment it starts effecting me sooner!!  Oh well just one more treatment praise the Lord!!  So Bryce has been home with me for the last 3 days and I'm ready for him to get back to school!!  Seriously Lake Forest whats the problem!!  Hes just so bored and I can't do anything! Oh well we will chaulk it up to bonding....yeah thats what we will call it bonding!!  

One addiction I'm gonna have to break when I go back to work is The Dog Whisperer!!  LOL I love it love it love it!!  I can't get enough of it....

Well everyone have a great night at church if you go on Wednesday's....I surely do miss it!!  I will be so glad to get back to my normal life!!  Love ya all and may God Bless you!! 

Well I wore they wig one day and allllll day it just wasn't right....I tried combing it, I tried hair spray, I tried teasing it, I tried flipping my head upside down.....are you sick of the wig yet???  I really was convinced that I was going to wear the wigs but I could really care less about it.  I love hair I love having different styles all the time...I love to color it and do crazy stuff with it but it really has to be my own and if its not I would rather just throw on a hat!!  I can't believe how comfortable I am in my hats I am really surprised!! 

You are so right about recovering in spring when things are made new again!!  I never thought about it that way but the is so true.  That is so refreshing to think about thanks for that tidbit!!

Janice thank you for the info on the lady in Wyoming.  I am going to go to this place in PA first.  He does a full body exam to find out what needs healing.  He manipulates the body somehow to find out areas that really need improving.  Tom and I know a couple of people that go up there and have had wonderful responses.  One guy is our age and was just diagnosised with ALS.  There is really no conventional medicine for that diagnosis and the life expectancy is at max I think 6 years!!!  So hes decided to go to this guy and really likes him. 

So everyone today was my treatment and I can't tell you how happy I am that I only have one more treatment.  Let me just tell you that the Lord has POURED out his grace and mercy on me through this whole ordeal!!!  I was talking to a gentleman at church and he was tell me that he just finished radiation and several surgeries on esophageal cancer.  He made a comment that I have felt from the very beginning but I didn't know if anyone would understand.  He said hes had peace from the very beginning in knowing that he was healed.  That is what I have felt as well.  It's like I don't even have cancer I don't hardly even say the word! I totally believe that is the Lords perfect grace poured out on a sinner that has been saved and healed by the blood of Jesus.  I'm not saying that I haven't had bad days because I certainly have but after sorrow comes JOY!!!  Today I have JOY in knowing I am a child of the most high God!!

Ok God Bless you ALL!!

Well I haven't written on here in a while wasn't sure anyone was reading my entries until 2 of my friends wrote to me!!  Anyway I have absolutely been loving the snow!!  It has forced us to stay home and believe me it was certainly much needed!!  I have spend more time with Tom over this last week and a half and it has been wonderful!!  I hope we get even more snow to be honest with ya....I know some of you are not going to agree with that but I would love to have another week with my hubby!!!

So I am going tomorrow for number 3 out of 4!!  March 1 will be my last chemo treatment and I am soooo done!!  I have gone to 2 reflexology appts. and I think I will continue to go while I'm being treated.  I didn't get to go this week because of the snow.  I'm not sure if it really helps with the chemo but it isn't hurting any.  My new thing is Chinese herbs...I think I'm gonna go to this place in PA and start herbs!!  No not the smoking herb LOL just had to assure some of you!!! I really feel that chemo has so damaged all of me internal and external.  I really feel like the Lord put natural medicine on this earth long before we had doctors so why not use them!!  My internal organs have been damaged and theres really no way to know to what extent they have been damaged so I'd really rather not take another pill that will possibly heal one organ but damage another.  Maybe I can find an herb that will help my hair grow FAST for the summer cause i certainly don't want to be wearing these fleece hats in the heat!!! 

May God Bless each and everyone of you!!  He has so blessed my family and I during this season of our lives!!!