Well I wore they wig one day and allllll day it just wasn't right....I tried combing it, I tried hair spray, I tried teasing it, I tried flipping my head upside down.....are you sick of the wig yet???  I really was convinced that I was going to wear the wigs but I could really care less about it.  I love hair I love having different styles all the time...I love to color it and do crazy stuff with it but it really has to be my own and if its not I would rather just throw on a hat!!  I can't believe how comfortable I am in my hats I am really surprised!! 

You are so right about recovering in spring when things are made new again!!  I never thought about it that way but the is so true.  That is so refreshing to think about thanks for that tidbit!!

Janice thank you for the info on the lady in Wyoming.  I am going to go to this place in PA first.  He does a full body exam to find out what needs healing.  He manipulates the body somehow to find out areas that really need improving.  Tom and I know a couple of people that go up there and have had wonderful responses.  One guy is our age and was just diagnosised with ALS.  There is really no conventional medicine for that diagnosis and the life expectancy is at max I think 6 years!!!  So hes decided to go to this guy and really likes him. 

So everyone today was my treatment and I can't tell you how happy I am that I only have one more treatment.  Let me just tell you that the Lord has POURED out his grace and mercy on me through this whole ordeal!!!  I was talking to a gentleman at church and he was tell me that he just finished radiation and several surgeries on esophageal cancer.  He made a comment that I have felt from the very beginning but I didn't know if anyone would understand.  He said hes had peace from the very beginning in knowing that he was healed.  That is what I have felt as well.  It's like I don't even have cancer I don't hardly even say the word! I totally believe that is the Lords perfect grace poured out on a sinner that has been saved and healed by the blood of Jesus.  I'm not saying that I haven't had bad days because I certainly have but after sorrow comes JOY!!!  Today I have JOY in knowing I am a child of the most high God!!

Ok God Bless you ALL!!

Well I haven't written on here in a while wasn't sure anyone was reading my entries until 2 of my friends wrote to me!!  Anyway I have absolutely been loving the snow!!  It has forced us to stay home and believe me it was certainly much needed!!  I have spend more time with Tom over this last week and a half and it has been wonderful!!  I hope we get even more snow to be honest with ya....I know some of you are not going to agree with that but I would love to have another week with my hubby!!!

So I am going tomorrow for number 3 out of 4!!  March 1 will be my last chemo treatment and I am soooo done!!  I have gone to 2 reflexology appts. and I think I will continue to go while I'm being treated.  I didn't get to go this week because of the snow.  I'm not sure if it really helps with the chemo but it isn't hurting any.  My new thing is Chinese herbs...I think I'm gonna go to this place in PA and start herbs!!  No not the smoking herb LOL just had to assure some of you!!! I really feel that chemo has so damaged all of me internal and external.  I really feel like the Lord put natural medicine on this earth long before we had doctors so why not use them!!  My internal organs have been damaged and theres really no way to know to what extent they have been damaged so I'd really rather not take another pill that will possibly heal one organ but damage another.  Maybe I can find an herb that will help my hair grow FAST for the summer cause i certainly don't want to be wearing these fleece hats in the heat!!! 

May God Bless each and everyone of you!!  He has so blessed my family and I during this season of our lives!!!

Tom and I have been married 8 years today!!  I love him more today than the day I married him and I'm not sure how that happened!!  I loved him sooo much the day we married and love him soo much today.  I've always heard people say that they love their spouse so much more today then the day they married and I never understood that until now!!  When Tom and I got married we were just happy to be together and had no worries so loving each other was easy.  We got married and sometime after that not sure what happened just maybe married life settled in and we were just together.  Still loved each other but just existing together.  I didn't always treat him very good was mean and hateful towards him.  I had been married before Tom and he was a jerk so I guess I was just waiting for Tom to turn into a jerk but he never did!!  As most of you already know as of October 6 Tom and I got the news that I had breast cancer at the age of 36!!  I just can't tell you how that diagnosis has changed the way I look and feel for my husband!!  I am a very independant person so to not be able to do everything for myself and to have to have Tom do all for me really challenged me.  Quite frankly I wasn't sure he was even up to the challenge and for sure he would never be able to meet my standards!!  Well he is up for the challenge and he has met my standards and exceeded my standards!!  I can honestly say that this is the man that I want on my side when the going gets rough!!  Tom you are the best husband I could of ever dreamed of.  I pray the Lords blessings on you each and everyday!!  You are the man of my dreams and I can only pray that we will have a long and wonderful marriage!!  I know times aren't always easy or happy but with Jesus at the front of our relationship we can get through ANYTHING together!!  I love you very much!!  Happy anniversay and I pray for many many many more together!!

Ok the boney pain is awful!!!  You know when you have the flu and your body hurts all over well multiply that by about 2000!!!! The more I move the less it hurts but the more I move the more sleepy I get LOL!!!  Just let me say Praise the Lord that I'm not sick...I will surely take this chemo over the first chemo!!  Thanks again to all of you that have brought us dinner!!  You just don't know how much that means to us!!  Man you guys can cook too let me tell you!!!  Well I'm gonna try something that I've never done had done before.  For Christmas I got a gift certificate for $50.00 to get massage or reflexology done.  I called the lady and wanted to explain my situation of being in the middle of chemo and not sure if it was ok to get a massage or if there would be a problem etc.  She suggested that I have reflexology done....not sure what its all about I know it has to do with my feet.  It is supposed to be really good for chemo patients so I'm going on Monday and will let you know about it.  If you have had it done before give me some feed back on it so I know what they will be doing or what to expect!! 

I have a few things that I would love to have you pray for.  1) No neuropathy  2) Wisdom and clairity on my future store

I thank each one of you sooo much for praying for me!!  That is surely the most important of my recovery cause if you think for one minute that the Lord does not hear let me assure you that He does!!  Every specific prayer from the very beginning of my diagnosis has been answered and with that I would say He answers!!!  Thank you Lord Jesus for your answers and your future plans you have for me!! 

Well Monday was my first new treatment ......today is Wednesday and I am really sore!!  Yesterday I felt fine just tired and then this morning I woke up with a lot of boney pain.  The more I move the better I feel so I'm trying to just take it easy but move around a little plus I'm soooo tired!!!  I think thats because I took 5 steroid pills on Sunday night and then got a shot of steroids on Monday and now I'm kinda crashing from no steroids!!!!  I must say though that this chemo is a lot let harsh on my stomach!!  I haven't had any stomach pain at all!!  Praise the Lord He is good!!! Monday I'm going to have reflexology done.  This will be the first time but the lady that I have the appoinment with seems to really believe in it.  I got a gift certificate so I'm going to give it a try!!  Anyway I've written more than 2 sentences so I am exhausted and ready to take another nap!!  Got a Dr's appt. today and only 3 more Taxol treatments!! 

Well I went to see Dr. Foote today and she decided that we needed to revisit the Taxol treatment!!  I didn't really like that fact that I would be getting treated once a week for 12 weeks but figured that that was the treatment that she wanted to do so I needed to get on bored with the schedule.  Well she told me today that she wants to change to once every 2 weeks which I like MUCH better.  I will have to go through 4 cycles every 2 weeks.  I can do anything 4 times so I prefer this treatment plan much better!!  I would really like to ask for specifi prayers during this treatment.  Please pray for quick recovery, no neuropathy, and no allergic reaction!!  This chemo has a high rate of allergic reactions so I will be given lots of drugs prior to treatment.  Starting Sunday I have to take Decadron 2 pills in the morn 2 pills in the evening. Then Monday is treatment day and I will be given Decadron 2 pills in morn and 2 at night and before the treatment gets started I will be given and injection of Decadron, Aloxi (med for stomach), and bendadry.  Then on Tuesday more Decadron in the morn and night.  Thats a lot of medicine to have to take but thats ok as long as it works and I am able to get treated thats all that matters!

There is also a shrimp feast at the Legion in Lewes for my benefit this Saturday at 4-8!!!  Now I know you can't make every benefit for me but i just wanted to keep all of you updated on what's going on!  Thanks to all that came to Bingo on Friday night!!  I believe everyone had a fantastic time and I saw the prizes and they were FANTASTIC!!!  Praise God that it was really a success!!! 

Well today before my doctors appointment I got to hang out with my friend and really had a great time!!  I just want to thank God for giving me a friend that really makes me feel comfortable!!!  Who just loves me for who I am and loves just hanging out and talking about all God does for us and how He loves us!!! 

Thank you all for your prayers and may God bless each one of you in this new year!! 

Thats a lot to talk about in that title so I better get started!!!  The last treatment has been absolutely horrible!!  I felt ok then I felt like I was going to meet Jesus!!!  To be very honest with ou that was right where I wanted to be!!!  Last Wednesday I called Tom to come home cause I just felt horrible then Thursday my mom stayed with me and I was very thankful for that!!!  I just felt horrible then I started throwin up!!  God up with Dr Foote and she sent me to the hospital for fluids and other meds! Friday I felt ok but not the best so I really didn't want to take a chance and go to bingo.  Saturday and today I really feel good!!  I got to go to church today and it was awesome!!  I so appreciate seeing everyone they are such great people!!!  Thank you ENFC you all are wonderful!!  Well I have a very busy week!!  I have got to CLEAN CLEAN CLEAN!!!  I can't believe how dirty a house can get in just a couple of days!!  Again thank you to all that attended Bingo and may the Lord bless each of you for giving!!!  Thank you!!  Have a great great great week!!

I am speachless!!  I just can't believe what is happening both with the bingo and just random people so willing to help my family and I!!!  A lady from Dover saw the article in the paper and called my mom and wants to donate money to me!!  Just random people!!  When you put all things in the hand of Jesus he will do the work and he does it BIG!!!  I just don't know what to say. I know I am repeating myself and I'm sorry to bore you but I am sooo stunned at what is happening. 

Ok so anyway I feel like crap today!!  7-8 days after my chemo treatment my white blood count is sooo low along with most of my other blood counts!!!  I had to actually call Tom and ask him to come home from work today!!  I had a horrible headache and just couldn't even function!!  Being the FANTASTIC husband that he is he came right home and started doing everything possible to make me feel better!  Oh yes that included making my something to eat cause thats all I do is eat!!!  I went to see my doctor today and she was joking with me about looking like I'm 3 months pregnant!!!  LOL its ok you can laugh cause I am gaining weight like crazy!!!  My excuse is that when I eat it makes my stomach feel better and Dr. Foote did say that was true so I do have medical advise supporting that!! 

I will begin the next chemo on Jan. 18 so please pray that I will not have an allergic reation to this chemo.  This specif chemotherapy has a high rate of allergic reactions.  I will do this chemo on Mondays once a week for 12 weeks.  I will have to take Decadron the day before the day of and the day after they will also give me an injection of Benadryl before the chemo!!  So I will sleep for the better part of the infusion. This is a long slow infusion so what better to do than just sleep through it!! 

I ask for contiued prayer for divine guidance on the store I want to open for cancer patients and family!!  I believe this is something that Milford could totally support.  Unfortunately cancer is not prejudice it effects everyone!!  Even if you never get it you know someone that has been effected by it!! 

Thank you all for your prayers!!  God Bless you all!!

Yuck I like sleeping until whatever time I want and getting in the shower whenever I want!!  So that is coming to an end as of tomorrow morning!!  Boys back to school so I have to get up to take Bryce to school and then to do laundry cause of course that has piled up on me!!!  Neverending doctors appointments and blood draws and taking medicines yuck yuck yuck!!!  The bright side is adrimycin and cytoxin are over!!  Now onto Taxol for 12 weeks.  I must confess that these 4 weeks of a/c has really gone fast so hopefully the 12 weeks of Taxol will fly by as well. 

Well I guess I should share with all of you my future plans so you know what to pray for long term.  I want to open a store that sells merchandise for cancer patients.  There is not a store around here that sells that kind of stuff so I would love to open one.  It could sell stuff for the patients as well as for the family that wants to support them.  So if you could just pray for divine guidance for me to make this come true I would certainly treasure your prayers!! 

Of course don't forget bingo this Friday, January 8th, at Elks Lodge in Milford!! 

Love you all and may you have a healthy new year!!

Well here I am the day after my last treatment and I am feeling a little better then my last 3!!!  I don't know if its a pshycological thing or what.  I am a sick to my belly but have some terrific medicine that keeps it pretty settled!!  Very sleepy always but I'd really like to just sleep through it all!!  Its New Year's Eve and  we are going to go to my moms and hanging out just for a little while!

I wish all of you a Happy New Year!!  I pray for a healthy 2010 for all of you!!  I believe 2010 is going to be a year of restoration and new adventures for the Smiths!  Looking forward to whatever the Lord has in store for us!

Don't forget Bingo on Jan. 8th at the Milford Elks Lodge!!  Should be fun fun fun with lots of fantastic gifts for you to win!